The words “divorce” and “happy” are rarely used side-by-side. However, it is important to remember that the purpose of a divorce is to end a marriage that isn’t working. This is an opportunity to set the stage for a future in which you can be happy again.
While the divorce process itself can be stressful, there are things you can do along the way to make certain you do not carry that stress along with you when your marriage is over. Here are some valuable tips for becoming happily divorced:
1. Keep Talking
You may have been wronged or mistreated. You may want to shut your spouse out of your life completely. If you have kids, that simply isn’t going to happen. Whether you like it or not, you are going to have to maintain a civil, if not friendly, relationship with your spouse. Keeping lines of communication open will make co-parenting easier.
2. Don’t Bring The Kids Into It
You have the right to vent. You have the right to be angry. But you must use caution about when and where you express your anger. Saying negative things about your spouse to your children can be emotionally harmful. Furthermore, anything perceived as attempts at alienating the other spouse could harm your child custody case.
3. Choose Your Battles
Remember, divorce is about closing this chapter in your life and moving forward. While you may feel like you want closure on the issues that led to the divorce, your attention is better focused on the future. Try to avoid arguing over the issues that have brought you here and focus on the issues that will make you happy going forward, like a fair division of assets and positive child custody arrangements.
4. Keep The Battle Where It Belongs
If you and your spouse can discuss things amicably, then by all means do so. If not, there is no use expending energy arguing over the phone or in person. Save the arguments for the negotiation table or the courtroom, where your lawyer can do the heavy lifting.
5. Create Realistic Expectations
Texas laws dictate how property division and child custody will be handled. The law does not allow one party to get all the property. The law does not allow one parent to spend all the time with the child, barring extenuating circumstances. An experienced attorney can educate you about how the law works and help you create realistic expectations for the outcome of your divorce.
6. Try Negotiation
Do not give up on negotiation before you have tried it, no matter how angry you are, no matter how obstinate you think your spouse is. With a skilled negotiator on your side, you may be surprised just how much can be accomplished. While agreements may not be reached on every issue, at least not everything will have to be decided at trial.
7. Don’t Give Up On Finding An Amicable Resolution
Negotiation is not the only path to an amicable resolution. Techniques like mediation and collaborative divorce can allow you to reach an outcome without the need for trial. These methods put the outcome of your case, and your future happiness, in your hands, rather than entrusting them to a judge.
At Heinrich Christian, PLLC, we take pride in helping people become happily divorced. Let our lawyers guide you through this complex and stressful process in pursuit of a future you can be happy with.
