There’s a lot to be said about focusing on the “silver lining” in any dark cloud — and divorce is no exception.
No matter what precipitated the split in your marriage, it’s normal to mourn a little over your marriage. If you’re struggling to keep a positive perspective about your situation, here are some reminders about the potential benefits of divorce:
1. Your odds of a healthy future have improved.
What are the physical effects of an unhappy marriage? While a happy marriage can benefit your health, an unhappy one can be destructive and lead to chronic health problems like diabetes and depression. It can also worsen the effects of diseases like arthritis and cancer.
2. Your kids will probably be happier.
Kids are more intuitive than most people realize. No matter how you try to hide it, they know when their parents aren’t happy. While the changes in their lives may be disrupting for a time, your kids will eventually have the benefit of two happy parents and two homes where there is relative peace — and those are huge positives.
3. You’ll probably be happier, too.
Studies on divorced women suggest that the depression people feel after a divorce is limited. Most people not only recover, they feel better about their lives just a few years after a divorce.
4. You may have more financial freedom.
Your assets may take a hit during the divorce, but there’s every indication that it will only be a temporary setback. Changes in the tax laws now make it easier on singles to keep more of their earnings, so that’s a bonus. You may also enjoy the fact that you no longer have to negotiate your spending and saving with someone else. You’ll finally be free to do things the way that you always wanted!
While nothing may make you feel 100 percent better about your divorce, focusing on the positives can make it easier to negotiate a peaceful settlement with your spouse. For example, you may find divorce mediation more productive and easier to handle when you keep reminding yourself about the positive aspects of divorce.