A lot of questions will come to mind when your spouse tells you they want a divorce. Are they seeing someone else? Did they find out about that drunken fling with the bartender? Or have they been drinking and will come around to their senses by the morning.
Yet, none of those questions is going to help you secure your future. Spending too much time asking yourself the wrong questions can distract you from finding the answers to the ones you should be asking.
Focus your attention on what you can control in a divorce
Wondering what your spouse is thinking or wondering what went wrong is pointless. Once the divorce is inevitable, you need to focus on verifiable facts such as:
- What assets do we own: If you have ever had a spring clean, you will realize that married life can lead to a house full of things you forgot you had. The same can apply to assets — you may have investments, bank accounts that you have forgotten about.
- How much will I need to live in the future? If you want to seek a certain amount of money in a divorce, it will be easier with the facts and figures to back up why you are asking for that amount.
- What will happen to the children? Understanding custody laws and realizing kids need both parents to play a role in their life is crucial.
- How can we make this less painful? Divorce might not be fun, yet it does not need to turn unpleasant. If you can both accept that your relationship has run its course and it is time to move on, you can focus on finding a viable exit strategy that minimizes the damage.
Some questions you can work out yourself. Others require a thorough understanding of the law. Having access to the answers is crucial to get the outcomes you need in a divorce.
