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Is it always best to wait for your spouse to file for divorce?

On Behalf of | Sep 23, 2021 | Divorce

Some people feel truly shocked when they receive service with divorce paperwork. Others knew that divorce was imminent, as they had been waiting for months for their spouse to file.

Some couples get into a kind of cold war toward the end of their marriage, with neither wanting to be the first to make the move to file for divorce. Some people think that filing first makes them look bad to the courts or the community.

While it is true that some people might judge the spouse who files, it is also impossible to ignore that there are some very real benefits that come from being the one who files.

You have a chance to get organized before anything happens

Divorce requires a lot of financial records, ranging from income and tax statements to receipts for the purchase of major assets like vehicles. It can feel like a mad scramble trying to gather up all of those documents right after a surprise service with divorce paperwork. If you decide to be the one who files, that means you will have an opportunity to obtain all of the necessary financial and household records quickly and easily ahead of time.

Your spouse will have a harder time hiding property or money

Sometimes, one person waits to file because they want to hide money or build up a secret account somewhere. They might even move physical assets out of the marital house so that their spouse doesn’t remember them while making a household asset inventory. When you file first, your spouse will have a harder time hiding money or physical property from you and the courts.

Your mental adjustment to the changes will be easier

Divorce often comes with intense emotional reactions. Depression, trouble with other relationships and even explosive outbursts of anger are all common responses to the end of a marriage.

If you wait for your spouse to be the one to make the final decision, you will likely feel out of control and have a harder time processing your emotional response. When you are the one who makes the decision, you can process your emotions on your own terms. It may be easier to process your feelings when you feel like you have control over your life.

Recognizing the benefits that come from taking the lead in your divorce can I help you pave a path toward a brighter future.



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