Separating from your long-term partner can be challenging in itself, but when you have children together, the matter can be more complex. How will your children react? When and where should you tell them. What’s the best way to approach the subject?
The truth is, there are no right or wrong answers and you will need to take your specific circumstances into account. Nonetheless, outlined below are a few points worth considering as you let your children know about the divorce.
Approach them together
The less animosity there is between you and your former spouse, the easier it will be for the kids to digest what’s going on. If you show that you are able to work together when telling them, this signals that you are putting the children first and both plan to be active in their lives. Before you broach the subject, make sure you have a rough plan of what you are going to say. It’s likely that your children are going to have some questions. They should be allowed to ask these and it will help if you can provide some comforting answers.
Don’t make them take sides
There are numerous reasons why your marriage may have come to an end. Perhaps it was a mutual decision. Even if one spouse is to blame for the relationship deteriorating, there is probably no benefit in letting your children know this. They might already feel conflicted and placing blame on one parent could potentially unsettle them in the future.
Divorce is also a new beginning
Divorce may signify the end of a romantic relationship, but it can also be the beginning of a new co-parenting relationship. Parents are often able to work well as a team post-divorce, and the children can continue to go from strength to strength.
To ensure you get the fairest settlement in your divorce, it is in your best interests to seek legal guidance as soon as is practicable.