It’s easy to be indignant because you are getting divorced. You may feel slighted, let down and frustrated with the way your marriage concluded.
You began your life together full of starry-eyed romanticism, as many newlyweds do. Then the relationship faltered. You feel robbed of the storybook union you anticipated. Instead, you’re alone and fumbling for ways to regroup.
Bitterness does not solve anything, though. You won’t begin to heal until you have accepted reality. When people immerse themselves in destructive emotions, they are not fun to be with. They dwell on past issues that can’t be altered. They spin their wheels fruitlessly. And they deprive themselves of a productive and fulfilling existence.
You couldn’t prevent the demise of your marriage. But you can call your own tune now. The quicker you refocus your thinking, the quicker you will see an uptick in the quality of your life.
Where to begin
As long as you stay swamped in anger, your ex will still in effect be in command of your destiny. As one expert wrote, “This is your chance to define who you are, what it is that you want, and where it is that you want to be.”
Sit down and list everything that’s fueling your bitterness. Was the child custody arrangement not in your favor? Did your spouse stray from their marriage vows? Has your financial situation suffered?
Now flip your bitter thoughts around. View each one more optimistically. Practice this technique every chance you get.
For example, tell yourself that although you miss your marriage, you are much healthier without all the drama. Remind yourself even though you miss your ex, you are free to do things entirely your way now, not their way.
Things will get better
With time and effort, you can push past the bitterness of your divorce and forge a satisfying new life. Seek out knowledgeable parties who can help you with that process and with all the details of your divorce. Before you know it, you will feel more upbeat.