Planning for child custody can be difficult. Many parents struggle to sort out a plan that’s going to work for their family. They may disagree about who should have custody or how it should be split up.
This situation can also be hard for children. Even if their parents divide custody evenly, the children may still be unhappy with having to live at one home for a week and then the other home for the following week (or some other even-split arrangement). This approach is equal and fair for the parents, but it means a lot of commuting back and forth for the children. This can cause them to feel unsettled and like they are never really at home. It can also be an issue if they have toys and other items they love at one home and not the other.
What is birdnesting?
If you’re a parent who is looking for a way to solve the challenge of carting your child back and forth between two households, you may want to consider birdnesting. This approach can be useful because it allows children to stay in the same home all the time. If they don’t want to give up the home they’ve always lived in or move away from their friends and school system, they may see this as ideal. Their parents get divorced and life changes in many ways, but staying in that home will help to provide them with stability.
How do you share custody while birdnesting? You still create a schedule, but it will pertain to where each parent will be at a given time instead of where the children will be. If you have custody, then it’s your week (etc.) to move into the home with the kids. When your ex has custody, you’ll move out of the home, and your ex will move in.
This approach can be challenging in unique ways. You’ll have to share your home with your ex, to some degree, because you each will be living there at separate times. You’ll also have to have somewhere to live when you don’t have custody, so you’ll need to have your own home or apartment on the side. But it may be a viable option if you’re looking for something that puts the children first and if you and your ex are still on relatively good terms.
Sorting out custody issues
When setting up child custody arrangements, you’ll definitely want to take the time to look into all of your legal rights with an experienced legal professional. You may have more options than you think, so explore them all carefully in order to make truly informed choices.