Divorce mediation gives you a chance to gain more control over your own future — far more so than you’d get if you let a judge decide.
However, a lot of people don’t know how to approach mediation. They’re very familiar with the idea of a litigated divorce — where there are “winners” and “losers” — but the idea of trying to negotiate an agreement that everyone can live with seems foreign. Far too many people approach divorce mediation the same way they do litigation: They have a list of demands and don’t want to compromise.
Do you want your divorce mediation process to go smoothly? Here are some rules to follow:
- Figure out what’s important. Here’s a hint: Nothing that happened in the past is involved. You need to focus only on your objectives for the future. Don’t go into mediation with a list of grievances about your spouse’s failings and behavior. None of that matters right now.
- Talk about the problems, not the person. (See rule number one for a reminder.) You cannot change your spouse’s opinion, so you need to focus on concrete issues.
- Don’t offer a solution before you even listen to your spouse’s perspective. That’s almost guaranteed to make your spouse shut you out and not be willing to listen to reason from that point forward.
- Demonstrate that you recognize your spouse’s needs and interests. That can help your spouse be willing to take a moment to consider your interests and needs in return.
Remember that a divorce is actually a business deal. The emotional part of your relationship is separate from the business part of your relationship. You may spend years fully coming to terms with the emotional aftermath of your relationship. Your goal right now, however, is to just deal with the practical concerns.
The right attorney can be a genuine asset during your divorce mediation negotiations. To discuss the specifics of your case, contact our office today.