Telling the kids about divorce: 7 helpful tips

Divorce is a very adult decision. You know it’s right for you, and so does your spouse. But you still worry about telling the children. How will that conversation go? 

This can be difficult, which is why it’s so important to consider how you break the news in advance. Don’t just do it in the heat of the moment. Plan it out. Put your kids first. 

These tips can make things go smoothly when talking to the kids

While you consider when and how to start this conversation, keep these time-tested tips in mind:

  1. You don’t need to get into all of the details. Some of them may be confusing to your children and may cause extra stress.
  2. Give the kids time to speak. It is good to answer the questions that your children have — and you need to know their concerns.
  3. Try to have this conversation as a family, with all of your children (and your spouse) present, if possible.
  4. Focus on things the children will worry about, such as where they’re going to live, even if this isn’t your major concern.
  5. Don’t blame anyone else. Don’t even blame your spouse, no matter what happened. They’re still your children’s other parent.
  6. Have the conversation at home or in another comfortable location where the children feel safe and relaxed.
  7. Do not act angry with the children if they don’t react the way you want them to. This is hard for them. Let them be honest about how they feel.

Overall, these tips make your children’s best interests your primary focus. Make sure that you keep this same mindset as you move forward with your divorce and custody case. Working with an experienced advocate can help you gain perspective and protect your interests. 

FindLaw Network
Heidi L. Heinrich
Rated by Super Lawyers


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