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What if you can’t co-parent?

On Behalf of | Jan 8, 2024 | Child Custody |

Co-parenting is a common way that parents of minor children, who are no longer romantically linked, manage their situation. This is what most ex-couples manage to do with varying degrees of ease and success. They cooperate in the raising of their child.

In some cases, that is too much to ask, and if violence or abuse was an issue in your marriage, you may want to keep contact with your ex to the bare minimum. This is where parallel parenting can come in.

What is parallel parenting?

Parallel parenting can be effective whatever the split of parenting time. All it means is that when the child is with you, you raise them how you want, and when they are with your ex, they raise them how they want.

Examples could include your child being allowed out late on a school day when they are with you – because you trust them to still get up in the morning and get their homework done, but having to be in the house by seven when they’re with your ex, who takes a different view. It could include children having chores in your house but none in the other. It’s the sorts of differences that may seem a big deal to you as parents but probably aren’t in the grand scheme of things.

Some things will still require consensus

Your child can’t just go to one school when they’re with you and another when they’re with the other parent. They can’t flip between religions or health care providers either. Some things you will have to agree on. But, by agreeing to let each other get on with the majority of things in their own way, you’ll reduce the need for communication over minor points that could escalate into arguments that could be damaging for all concerned.

If you feel parallel parenting could benefit your relationship, consider learning more about how to incorporate it into your parenting plan by seeking legal guidance accordingly.